FANMETA: Francine Smith [American Dad] would survive the apocalypse

Francine Smith from “American Dad” would probably survive the apocalypse.

She has all sorts of skills that would see her through situations that would kill other people.

She can out fight, out drink, out party tons of people. Definitely a woman with a history behind her.

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To all those people that sleep in their clothes: Cut it out!

I might sleep in my same undershirt, but I change into sleep pants before sleeping. It gives my jeans a chance to air out, whether I use Febreze or a dry wash[1] to refresh them or not. With a new shirt and a change of socks and underwear in the morning, those jeans are fine to wear.

Deodorant does tend to ruin my shirts for rewearing — I use a solid, and I *may* put too much on. (I have OCD and I’ve got a grooming habit.) This means that I can very seldom re-wear a shirt after I’ve slept in it.[A]

Still, no matter the situation, if you’re stuck away from home and a washing machine, you can still keep yourself fairly fresh and un-whiffy. Baby wipes are a godsend, and you can always manage a hobo shower if you’ve got to, but it doesn’t help if your clothes hold their smell.

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1. I like using baking soda. You can stick your jeans in a bucket with some baking soda and shake it. All the smell and dirt will be coated, then all you have to do is take your jeans out, brush them off, and hang them up to air out. Or for the hot dry method, you could stick your clothes in a pillow case after a baking soda treatment and run them through the dryer. I think I’ve heard of some people mixing lemon or flower petals with the baking soda and sealing it in a cheesecloth bag – dryer scent sachet-style.

There will be some people suggesting the use of cornstach. Do NOT make that mistake.

Cornstarch is great for a great many things, but it can not be used interchangeably with baking soda. The stuff clings and clumps in the most unpleasant way – it is a coagulant after all. (So cornstarch and sweat = disgusting mess and a pair of sneakers turned to garbage.)

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There is a reason why some people believe baking soda is an essential supply for after the apocalypse. It’s right up there with aspirin, alcohol, vinegar, yeast, and honey.

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A. Fancy turned around and saw Gillian in her bra with her shirt off. She immediately turned back around. Her cheeks and the skin up into her hairline felt like they were on fire.

“So… It’s really okay for me to stay the night?”

“Oh sure. Benji’s outta town until Friday. It’s nice to have someone around the place. It’s scary all alone.”

“Yeah, sure.” Fancy peeked over her shoulder. “I understand.”

Gillian slipped out of her jeans and tossed them over the back of a chair. She was wearing close-fitting thigh-length undershorts. She walked over to the switch near the door and turned off the overhead light. “I like the right side of the bed.”

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Fancy felt hot-and-cold run through her. “O-okay.”

She walked over to the left side of the bed and began slipping out of her pants. She could see Gillian out of the corner of her eye and felt the bed dip and shift as Gillian slipped under the blankets, settling comfortably. She got her legs under the covers and pulled the sheet up her chest as she slipped her shirt over her head.

Fancy felt weird at the idea of sleeping in her underwear, but she hadn’t thought to bring her pajamas. It was only luck that she’d had a travel toothbrush in her bag. She was not prepared for a sleepover at all.

I hope I don’t smell, she thought, resting her head on the pillow.

“You all set?” Gillian asked.

“Yeah.”

“Alexa, lights off.”

The bedside lamps clicked off. The room was plunged into darkness.

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1 Comment on "FANMETA: Francine Smith [American Dad] would survive the apocalypse"


  1. I picture Francine as being kind of like the character from “God Save the Girl.” So Fancy is kind of an amalgamation of many different characters.

    She allows herself be seduced in the moment, but at her base she’s always focused on a singular goal: survival. And to that end she’s willing to lie, cheat, and steal to get what she needs, and she has some adventures and learns lessons along the way.

    I would hope that she will become a full-fledged character as her story progresses.

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