You know, I’m getting tired of people telling me what I am and am-not concerned about, especially when it comes to my personal security.
“Look, nobody cares about my taxes.” Does something that’s equal measures wacky, horrifying, and war crimey. “See, nobody cares about taxes.”
“Nobody cares about their personal security.” Sells everyone’s metadata to Russia, but not China, since China already stole everything by state-sponsoring the Yahoo hack. “See, everyone’s information is out there. Nobody cares. Everyone’s still alive and operating normally. Ignore those dudes using your private information to steal your identity and spoof your friends. It’s cool, bro. The coolest.”
“See, somebody hacked the Social Security information of all federal employees, and look, nobody cares!” Waves hands wildly above head to show just how much nobody cares. “It doesn’t matter that you were born while your father served in the Army so your social security number was on file too. It’s not like anyone’s going to use that and your mother’s maiden name to steal your identity or the identities of your children. It’s cool, bro. Let it go. There’s nothing you can do to fix the problem.”
Our government fucked up. And now they’re fucking up again.
But don’t worry. They say everything’s fine. Keep drinking the Kool-Aid, it’s delicious, don’t look at the man behind the iron curtain, and certainly don’t question that individuals in the highest levels of government have ties to a hostile foreign government. Certainly don’t wonder if they’re being coerced to betray the American people.
They’re just going to be selling our metadata to private companies, injecting malware into our browsers in the form of directed advertising, and maybe even slowing our Internet speed whenever we look at sites they don’t approve of. Everything’s cool.
It’ll be just like having a nosy parent that doesn’t feel any compunction or shame about sharing all of our personal details with a bunch of strangers.
It’s super fucking cool. >_<