EXCERPT: Where Do I Go When I’m Not Here

EXCERPT: Where Do I Go When I’m Not Here
By Harper Kingsley
Dedicated to any fans of evil!Darkstar

I go back to Earth sometimes. And even if its not real — there’s been SO much mindfucking going on — it is better than the horror story of reality.

I imagine grass and stars, of mindbending purple light coming from his eyes. Not touching me, but passing so close I could feel SOMETHING from it. A feathery brush of heat that almost felt like gravity; god, he was so heavy to be around. The air was always so THICK; I could never get enough of it.

I became his in a moment. My power became his power.

I was wrapped up in him — my god, my everything — and he had no idea of the great joy and fulfillment he brought me. Because I was just another minion. One more Darkster kneeling before the throne.

It should bother me to remember, but it doesn’t. Because I love him that much. Because he DESERVED a million billion faithful kissing his ring every day, vowing forever fealty.

Some said he was immortal. I have to believe it.

He always looks the same. Beauty and brilliance; it burns to look directly at him, but its impossible to look away. I weep some times for the memory of his face and the possibility that I’ll never see him again.

One freak portal, and here I am: trapped in hell. Hurtling through space aboard a sci-fi freighter with a blown actuator and a cracked FTL drive.


Don’t tell me not to be concerned #SaveNetNeutrality #InternetSecurity

You know, I’m getting tired of people telling me what I am and am-not concerned about, especially when it comes to my personal security.

“Look, nobody cares about my taxes.” Does something that’s equal measures wacky, horrifying, and war crimey. “See, nobody cares about taxes.”

“Nobody cares about their personal security.” Sells everyone’s metadata to Russia, but not China, since China already stole everything by state-sponsoring the Yahoo hack. “See, everyone’s information is out there. Nobody cares. Everyone’s still alive and operating normally. Ignore those dudes using your private information to steal your identity and spoof your friends. It’s cool, bro. The coolest.”

“See, somebody hacked the Social Security information of all federal employees, and look, nobody cares!” Waves hands wildly above head to show just how much nobody cares. “It doesn’t matter that you were born while your father served in the Army so your social security number was on file too. It’s not like anyone’s going to use that and your mother’s maiden name to steal your identity or the identities of your children. It’s cool, bro. Let it go. There’s nothing you can do to fix the problem.”

Our government fucked up. And now they’re fucking up again.

But don’t worry. They say everything’s fine. Keep drinking the Kool-Aid, it’s delicious, don’t look at the man behind the iron curtain, and certainly don’t question that individuals in the highest levels of government have ties to a hostile foreign government. Certainly don’t wonder if they’re being coerced to betray the American people.

Everything’s cool.

They’re just going to be selling our metadata to private companies, injecting malware into our browsers in the form of directed advertising, and maybe even slowing our Internet speed whenever we look at sites they don’t approve of. Everything’s cool.

It’ll be just like having a nosy parent that doesn’t feel any compunction or shame about sharing all of our personal details with a bunch of strangers.

It’s super fucking cool. >_<



Young jalapeño plant

I’ve started growing a jalapeño plant.

I’m cheap. Rather than buying seeds, I just stuck the center part of a jalapeño in a sandwich bag with some dirt.

Whew-ee, I had to hold my breath while transferring the seedling. That dirt smelt spicy!

Still: fun, cheap, easy, and eventually delicious.

Price: $0 since I used kitchen scraps.

RAW: “Overwatch”-segment, by Harper Kingsley Excerpt, Kanon

Title: Overwatch
Author: Harper Kingsley
Universe: Kanon-verse (alternate universe version of Heroes & Villains)


Here I am, he thought. One day older. One day closer.

He squeezed his eyes closed. Drew a deep breath in through his nose. Then he pressed the button that raised the top portion of the hospital bed to an upright position. He clenched his teeth against the pain, feeling the lines around his nose and eyes pull tight.

If he lived, he would carry reminders of this experience forever.

Finally the pain shifted, released. He could breathe. The tears weren’t threatening to squeeze their way past his eyelids.

He took a few moments to regain his composure. Then he shifted the fingers of his left hand onto the call button. Concentrated. And pressed.

Thirty seconds later a nurse appeared. “Good morning, Blue Ice. Are you ready for your pain medications now?”

Warrick thought about saying No. Thought about pretending to be strong for one more minute and continuing to suffer through this agony that had become his life. Then he thought about cool relief from the nerve pain caused by his continuous brain seizures.

“Sir?” the nurse asked. “Is that a Yes or a No on the pain medication at this time? I need a verbal reply, as per your instructions.”

Sometimes Warrick cursed his past-self. That self-assured fool that had never truly believed he could be brought so low. Who never would have imagined a time when all he’d want was for someone else to make the hard choices, because he hurt too much to even care.

Y-y-yessss,” he hissed out through his teeth.

Then there was sweet relief at the hands of his beautiful caretaker. He didn’t know her name, but he loved her with all the fervor of someone finally released from the grasp of wretched misery.

He drifted for some timeless state of being.

A few precious moments completely free from pain.

Time was pressing in on itself. Soon these moments wouldn’t exist. He would count his blessings in seconds, not minutes. Then milliseconds. Then no relief at all. Pain would become his world.

And then he would die.

I hate this, he thought for the millionth time. Why won’t someone come save me for once?

The door slammed open hard enough to take a gouge out of the wall. Caspian didn’t pause in his entrance, coming right to the side of the bed, his grin a fierce baring of teeth. His eyes were like blue fire.

Warrick’s breath caught. He was all aquiver. He felt a desperate hope blooming in his chest.

“I found it. I found it!” Caspian reached his hand toward Warrick’s face, then ever-so-gently, careful of his friend’s propensity for pain, brushed his finger along the arch of Warrick’s cheek. “As long as you hold on, you miserable fuck, you’re going to be out of this hospital bed in a month, walking around. But you’ve gotta hold on, you hear me War? Can you hold on?”

Warrick drew in a shuddering breath. He formed the words slowly, carefully, wanting himself to be clearly heard. “Y-es. Ho-lding onn iss hw-wha-at I do b-es-t.


Where has all the music video TV gone?

I watched an iHeartRadio Green Day Live performance on the Audience channel and it made me so happy.

Not just because it’s Green Day and I grew up listening to them, but because they were right there on the screen playing music.

Remember when there used to be whole stations that played music videos? Where did those all go? And if you say “the Internet” I’m gonna yell at you, because I only started watching music videos on YouTube because they stopped playing them on TV.

Seriously, if I could turn on the TV and tune it to a station that showed music videos, recorded music concerts, and like Behind the Music/Where Are they Now segments, I would watch that channel all the time.

Because you know what? I don’t want to have to watch everything on my computer, Kindle, or phone. I don’t want to waste my limited Internet watching stuff I should be able to watch on TV.

I bought “Kingsman” on Blu-ray for $3.99 http://amzn.to/2gN0kD6

I splurged a bit, but I figure a movie or a book is something that can be enjoyed multiple times.

And who knows, it might be nice to have something to watch on TV the next time the Internet goes out or DirecTV is dealing with a network strike.


Kingsman: The Secret Service – from Amazon. I got this on Blu-Ray for $3.99. (I actually prefer DVD for the universal playability, but whatever.) Other than the obsession with anal sex, from what I remember this was a solidly entertaining movie.

Colin Firth was great. That church scene was eye-popping. And the whole dynamic has spawned some truly great fanfic.

So all around, I’m pleased with my purchase.


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – from Amazon. I got this on DVD for $3.99. I’ve never seen it before, but I remember that the trailer was kind of amusing and I wanted to see it.

I’m willing to give Tina Fey a chance. Hopefully this is a movie my dad will like. 🙂


Fury – from Amazon. At $5.99 for Blu-ray (or $4.99 for DVD) I think this was a good buy.

My brother said it’s a good war movie, though there’s one sex scene that I might want to skip passed. Otherwise it’s all action and rugged tank fighting.


Joy – from Amazon. I got this for $3.99 on DVD. I had to really think about this one, because while the trailers looked good and the list of stars looks good, I’m just not into melancholy movies. But from what I understand, this movie’s supposed to be good all the way through.

I’ll give it a chance and share whether it’s truly “a must-see” movie.


Pride + Prejudice + Zombies – from Amazon. I snatched up a DVD copy for $4 (though I could have grabbed the Blu-Ray for $5.99 if I wasn’t so cheap) and I’m really looking forward to seeing this one.

I remember enjoying the UK trailer for the movie — the US one was super dark and horrible. Like, everything great about either Pride and Prejudice or zombies was ruined by whatever the editors were trying to serve up. (Barf.)

I’m hoping this movie is going to be good. I’ll let you know ^_^


For less than $25, I’m hoping to keep my family quiet and entertained for a couple of nights.

I make coasters too

I make coasters if anyone’s interested ($6 each). Or I can provide pics of hand decorated tiles like the ones below.

Simple black/color on white tile message: $3
Drawing and detail: $5

My pics may not be great, but they’d be dedicated to you. And you can choose to share the pics on your site or social media.


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Media Watcher’s Guide: Introduction

Media Watcher’s Guide: Introduction

There are some television shows and movies that should be watched at least once – just for the value they give you as a person.

But the only way to get value out of any form of media is to consider what you’ve seen and to have a discussion about the material. Especially if you are watching a particular show or movie with a child or children.

Watching a television show or movie that contains violence, sexual material, foul language, or illegal acts should always be followed by a Q&A when watching with a child. Be aware of ratings and make sure your child is of the proper age and maturity level to enjoy a show or movie.


* American Dad (animated) [cartoon violence, deep message, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – family dynamics. male protagonist. female protagonist.

* Bob’s Burgers (animated) [deep message, amoral behavior, #autodidact] – family dynamics.

* Breaking Bad (live-action) [illegal activities, drug abuse, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill] – male protagonist.

* Buffy the Vampire Slayer (live-action) [magic, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – female protagonist.

* Criminal Minds (live-action) [TV realism, police procedural, serial killer, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – team dynamics.

* CSI: Crime Scene Investigators (live-action) [TV realism, police procedural, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – team dynamics.

* Flashpoint (live-action) [TV realism, police procedural, murder-death-kill, strong female character] – team dynamics.

* Hannibal (live-action) [violence, serial killer, murder-death-kill, cannibalism, strong female character] – male protagonist.

* Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (live-action) [TV realism, police procedural, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – team dynamics.

* Orphan Black (live-action) [superscience, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill, strong female character] – female protagonist.

* Rick & Morty (animated) [superscience, amoral behavior, deep message, illegal activities, murder-death-kill, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* South Park (animated) [amoral behavior, deep message, illegal activities, murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* Weeds (live-action) [illegal activities, drug abuse, amoral behavior, murder-death-kill, strong female character] – female protagonist.

* *

* *


* Akira (animated) [superscience, violence, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* Alien (live-action) [superscience, murder-death-kill, deadly aliens, strong female character, #autodidact] – female protagonist.

* Aliens (live-action) [superscience, murder-death-kill, deadly aliens, strong female characer, #autodidact] – female protagonist.

* Blade Runner (live-action) [superscience, violence, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* The Call (live-action) [violence, serial killer, ethical quandary, amoral behavior murder-death-kill, strong female character, #autodidact] – female protagonist.

* Children of Dune (live-action) [superscience, another planet, assassination attempts, #autodidact] – male protagonist. female protagonist.

* Doctor Strange (live-action) [magic, strong female character] – male protagonist.

* Dune (live-action) [superscience, another planet, assassination attempts, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* Little Shop of Horrors (live-action) [musical, alien invasion, amoral behavior, ethical quandary, murder-death-kill] – male protagonist.

* Grave of the Fireflies (animated) [WWII, bittersweet, tear-jerker, deep message, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

* Howl’s Moving Castle (animated) [magic, deep message, strong female character, kid-friendly] – female protagonist.

* Man From Nowhere (live-action) [ultraviolence, murder-death-kill] – male protagonist.

* Monster (live-action) [ultraviolence, serial killer, murder-death-kill, strong female character] – female protagonist.

* Pitch Black (live-action) [another planet, violence, murder-death-kill, deadly aliens, murder-death-kill, strong female character] – male protagonist. female protagonist.

* Spirited Away (animated) [deep message, strong female character, kid-friendly, #autodidact] – female protagonist.

* The Invasion (live-action) [alien invasion, strong female character, murder-death-kill] – female protagonist.

* Wall-e (animated) [end of the world, robots, kid-friendly, #autodidact] – non-human protagonist.

* Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (live-action) [musical, subversive, kid-friendly, #autodidact] – male protagonist.

PROMPT-FILL: Intense Thoughts: Q. The wedding is already arranged

Title: Q. The wedding is already arranged
Collection: Intense Thoughts
Author: Harper Kingsley
Rating: Adult

“I masturbated furiously.
Then I smoked some weed.
And my thoughts became very intense.”

Q. The wedding is already arranged. The invitations have all been sent out. But it felt wrong to marry.

Not when she loved another.

It was so stupid. She’d been ready to get married. Then she’d met Shaun and he was everything she’d ever wanted. It was a case of bad timing.

Instead of meeting the man of her dreams and having a whirlwind romance, she resented him. If he’d moved to town six months earlier. If he wasn’t so head-over-heels for her. Anyway she looked at it, knowing him was going to hurt her.

Naomi stared at the blank diary page. Then laid the pen down and closed the book.

She’d thought smoking weed would open her brain and help her think. Cold logic was what she needed, to keep her parents happy and to ensure her future.

Except all she could think about was choosing him.

His future was so uncertain. It made her araid. The last thing she wanted was to live in her car.

Even if her parents disowned her, she didn’t think her grandmother would let her starve in the street. But she wasn’t 100% sure.

Which led to thinking of all his faults. Of the loudness of his angry-voice and how he’d made the server cry. Of how he’d taken his socks off the second time she’d met him and walked barefoot on her rug. Or how he’d cheerfully used her toothbrush without asking.

There were some mannerisms that she didn’t like. But he looked good to her, in the way of paintings or bodies she wanted to rub up against. She’d let herself think of him while masturbating, wondering what his kisses would feel like. Rubbed her clit while imagining his dick–Was he cut? Uncut? Did he have big veins or a dark purple cockhead?–and what it would feel like thrusting between her legs.

She was getting married, and she couldn’t stop thinking about what she might be giving up. The what-if happiness she might have with a guy she’d just met.

There was a knock at the door. A rolling rhythm of knuckles against wood. Their secret knock.

Naomi jogged to the door and pulled it open. “Are you supposed to be here? I thought it was bad luck.”

Rolf gave a lopsided grin. His eyes were bright when they met hers. “I felt like I would never be able to sleep tonight if I didn’t see your face.” He shrugged. “So here I am. Seeing you.”

She pulled him in by the arm, kicking the door shut with her foot. “Since you’re here… Come cuddle with me.”

He agreeably let her arrange him on the couch. Once she was satisfied, she pressed herself close against him, her upper body covering his chest. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck and softly breathed him in.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said.

He didn’t press for any details. Just held her until she was ready to go to bed. Then he kissed her goodnight and went back to his brother’s house.

And she pressed the sleeves of her shirt against her nose and sniffed the lingering scent of him. A man that loved her, desired her, and was eager to spend the rest of his life keeping her happy.

Naomi married Rolf the next day. Her smile was radiant.


PROMPT-FILL: Intense Thoughts: A. Her tone was so matter-of-fact [choking]

Title: A. Her tone was so matter-of-fact
Collection: Intense Thoughts
Author: Harper Kingsley

“I masturbated furiously.
Then I smoked some weed.
And my thoughts became very intense.”

A. Her tone was so matter-of-fact that it took them a moment to catch up. Then the meaning sunk in.

Albert went bright red and Clarice made a sputtering sound in her throat. “Why I never…”

“Did she just say what I thought she said?” Leon whispered to Yoshina. She hushed him and swatted at his hand, telling him to listen.

He refrained from rolling his eyes. She was probably right. The old people were so touchy; they took offense at every little thing.

His reaction to the farce taking place in front of him was going to be remembered for years to come.

Leon straightened his back and kept his facial expressions placid and untroubled.

He kept up his mask of scion of a respectable family all through the rest of the party. He swallowed his reactions to the things the dotty old relatives said and knew that he’d done well. At the end of the evening, Great Uncle Hermann even gave him a hearty farewell hug.

Leon enjoyed his sense of accomplishment all the way home.

Until he grasped the handle for his front door and the door swung open. There were broken ends of wood sticking out where pieces of the doorframe had broken away.

Leon turned on his heel and began to run. But from the muscled arm that went around his neck, he was too late.

As he choked and flailed helplessly, he could feel the walls of his throat closing shut. Tight pressure that didn’t quite hurt. His assailant was being careful not to damage the merchandise. He could almost be grateful.

He felt an entirely inappropriate pressure in his groin. Now? You wanna do this NOW?!

It was a teasing lick of pleasure. An instinctive tightening of muscles. From I want to pee to Oh as his body couldn’t decide whether it liked being strangled or not.

Then the black spots took over his vision. And his lungs were screaming. Terror had his heart hammering out blood as it tried to get oxygen to his brain.

There was the almost gentle stroke of a gloved hand against his cheek. His grasping, clenching fingers clawed weakly at a leather coat as the man’s head leaned close to his ear.

Say goodnight, Brucie” was the last thing he heard before passing out.


PROMPT-FILL: Intense Thoughts: J. He’d been in prison long enough [NSFW]

Title: J. He’d been in prison long enough
Collection: Intense Thoughts
Author: Harper Kingsley

“I masturbated furiously.
Then I smoked some weed.
And my thoughts became very intense.”

He’d been in prison long enough that he didn’t care who watched. As long as they kept their hands to themselves, they could admire all they liked.

The paper crinkled in his fist and he fought not to squeeze. He wanted to save the letter. It was from his favorite admirer. But it was hard not to wrinkle the sheet of notebook paper as he rocked his dick up into his encircling right hand.

With as much care as he could manage–not much–he laid the letter on the edge of the pillow near his head. Then he dug his heels into the thin mattress and began thrusting his hips as he jerked himself. He propped his left elbow behind his back to get some leverage as he made the mattress cry out beneath him, a creaking of springs and shifting of his whole body.

He gasped rhythmically as he worked himself off. And when he came, it was with a dramatic thrusting of hips and a flop back amongst sullied sheets.

He lay there for a long moment, face uplifted and eyes closed. He drew in deep shuddering breaths and let the sweat and cum dry on his skin.

Tomorrow was laundry day. They’d come around with the big carts and change his bedding for new.

Tonight he would sleep amongst his own body’s excretions. He would breathe in the scent of himself and rub it deep into his touch-starved skin.

And he would dream of his dear admirer.

His dear heart that he wished he’d met before his incarceration.